According to the Crime Survey for England and Wales, 2.3 million people suffer from domestic abuse. Many abuse victims don’t report their crimes and so this figure could be higher. How can people suffering domestic abuse get support?
What is domestic abuse?
If a family member, a carer, or a partner is abusing you either mentally, physically, or sexually, then this is domestic abuse. Commonly, it affects people between the ages of 16 and 74 years of age.
You define domestic abuse as coercive control, intimidation, or degradation with the threat of physical or sexual violence. This means that a person may be suffering from:
- Physical or sexual abuse
- Harassment or stalking
- Financial and/or economic abuse
- Online or digital abuse
- Verbal abuse
Why is it hard to get help?
People who are in domestic abuse situations often find it hard to get help for a variety of reasons. More often than not it is due to:
Fear of violence
The fear of an attack on themselves, their children or a member of their family often puts people off seeking help. Domestic abuse doesn’t always include violence, but if it does, statistics show, there can be violence after a couple has separated.
Lack of Family or Friends
Often a person in a domestic abuse situation will be forced to distance themselves from family and friends. They also might choose to distance themselves. This is because they don’t want anyone else to know what is going on at home. But this means that when they need friends and family it is difficult to reconnect.
Shame
Many people suffering from domestic abuse feel embarrassed about their situation. Sometimes the perpetrator of the abuse is well respected in the community. The abuse victim thinks they should keep up appearances. They might also think they wouldn’t be believed if they were to tell the truth.
Lack of self-esteem
Over a period of time, someone suffering from abuse will lose their confidence. Many people believe that the abuse is somehow their fault, even though it isn’t. The abused victim might feel that asking for help is putting a burden on other people. Some people believe they won’t be able to manage by themselves.
Lack of finances
Lack of finances often stops people from seeking help because they don’t think they can support themselves and their children. Mothers especially are often afraid of having their children taken away from them because they are not financially dependent.
Children
Some victims of domestic abuse believe that as long as their children aren’t being abused then they are better off at home. Children are often witnesses to domestic abuse and will suffer as a result, so this isn’t a good reason to stay in an abusive relationship.
Getting Support – The Bright Sky App
If you are a person suffering from domestic abuse, there are ways you can get help. If you’re not ready to talk to someone you can download the Bright Sky app on an apple or android phone, or your tablet or computer.
Inside the app, you’ll find a UK-based directory with specialist support and assessment tools that help you to spot the signs of domestic abuse. It has links to resources and advice on how to stay safe online.
You can use the app in one of 5 languages. It is available in:
- English
- Punjabi
- Urdu
- Welsh
- Polish
Getting Support – Ask for Ani and Safe Spaces
When you feel ready to talk to someone you can use the Ask for ANI codeword from the safety of your local pharmacy including us, here at VSM pharmacy.
If you use the code word a member of staff will take you to a room (a safe space) which you can use to contact a friend or family member, phone the domestic abuse helpline or any other support service.
You can find out more about safe spaces and ask for ANI on the UK says no more website or the Hestia website which provides support to adults in crisis.
And remember by using the codeword at VSM Pharmacy you’ll be assured of a safe space.